I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
