god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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