Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
