i think i have herpe
just one?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
