mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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