I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
