and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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