Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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