We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
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