Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
