You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
The best revenge is premature balding
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Randomize
