im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
