Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
