shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
