never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
