Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
