So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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