We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
