Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Then you guys just all showered together...?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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