i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
please come you make the beer taste better
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
