sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
