hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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