i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
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