idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
