So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize