Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
