He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
