Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
