in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
