Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
