At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
