New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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