I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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