We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
A+ Viking dick
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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