LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
