Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Randomize
