Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I want her autograph on my taint
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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