You can't motorboat a personality
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
