Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
