Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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