I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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