dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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