hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize