Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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