And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
