Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
