going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
