No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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