i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
