when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
