bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
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