Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
where are my eyebrows?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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