We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize