I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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