ya dads aren't the best wingmen
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
they need to just BURY HIM!
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
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