lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
