Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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