1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
