idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
