I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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