Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
