nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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