Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
