Im at strip club and am horny
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
