can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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