i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
