actually, I'm a sock model
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
