Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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