fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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