so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize