Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize