I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
