I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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