Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
You ruined the universe
Randomize
