Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
