Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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