There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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