are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
