Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
