Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
