yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
