the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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